In Rare Form Out of Context

Fletcher stumbles out of his chair and navigates through the drunken melee to the living room.

LIVING ROOM

When he gets to the snack table, the Cheetos are gone. He grabs a girl who is holding a Heineken. She is AMBER, a sorority girl with a beer-belly.

FLETCHER
Amber. Cheetos. Where are the Cheetos?

AMBER
I didn’t buy any Cheetos, Fletcher.

FLETCHER
Yes you did. I saw them on the
table, but now they’re gone.

AMBER
Dude, you need to lay off the weed.
I didn’t buy Cheetos.

FLETCHER
Dude, I just saw--

AMBER
No you didn’t, because my couch is new.

FLETCHER
Huh?

Amber has her back turned to the couch. Beside the couch, a KEG sits on a table, in ice. TWO GUYS sit on the couch and attach a CONDOM to the keg tap. The condom starts to fill with beer, getting larger, and larger - Amber does not notice.

AMBER
I just picked up the couch from
Salvation Army, right? And it’s
“like new,” right? The fabric is all
eggshell, and the Cheetos are just
orange. You know, like the cheesy
factor of the Cheetos is artificial
orange, right? And I spent all my money
on Heineken, so I can’t afford the
fabric cleaner, and they didn’t have
any chocolate tones at the Salvation
Army, so I was forced into this
eggshell, which complements the rug and
all, but just doesn’t do well with
artificial orange. So I went with Sour
Cream and Onion Ruffles. I mean, do you
see what I’m saying? The couch is new--

The condom EXPLODES, spewing beer all over Amber’s eggshell couch.

Fletcher pushes past Amber towards a latter-day Bob Marley, who sits on the floor staring at lava lamp, mesmerized. He is CARL, and he is stoned.

CARL
It’s like, all the colors live in
harmony. . .