Phrase Book

As I am learning French, I often find that the French word for something is almost exactly like the English word. For instance: tennis=tennis, racisme=racism, superficiel=superficial. This makes learning French vocabulary infinitely easier than learning, say, Inuit vocabulary. All that is needed, really, to complete the cultural transformation from American to French, is a cartoonish French accent added to each word to properly translate the language. It is also helpful to know that in La France, some phrases are exact translations of the American English.

For instance: when a grungy dirty man sitting across the aisle from you on the crowded Metro "accidentally" "falls" out of his chair during a minor curve of the ride and reaches out to grab the "nearest" thing to him to keep from "falling" on the floor, and, instead of grabbing the pole between the two of you, he steadies himself by pawing your luscious breast, then the following phrase is an appropriate response in both languages -
"If you fucking touch me again I will fucking kill you!"

The only difference between the American and French deliveries is that, in America, you might follow the phrase with a spray of mace in the man's eyes, while in France, simply leaning in uncomfortably close and pointing your finger in his face will suffice. It may seem to the inexperienced Metro rider that such colloquial wording would not make sense in French, but I can guarantee you (judging by the look of sheer fear in the jackass's eyes), no translation is needed.